…Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

…Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

…Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

…Why isn’t there mouse…flavored cat food?

…When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

…Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

A woman brought her very limp parrot to the vet. The doctor examined the bird carefully, then shook his head. “I’m so sorry,” he said, “but Polly has passed away.”

“Are you sure?” the owner wailed. “I mean, you haven’t done any testing or anything! He might just be in a coma.”

The vet shrugged, left the room, and returned with a beautiful black Labrador. The dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examining table, and sniffed the bird from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet sadly and shook his head.

The vet took the dog out, then returned with a Siamese cat. The cat jumped up, sniffed all around the bird, and also shook its head.

The vet then said to the woman, “I’m sorry, but like I said, your parrot is most definitely, certifiably dead.” He then turned to his computer, produced a bill, and handed it to her.

“$250!” she sputtered. “$250 just to tell me my bird is dead?!”

The vet shrugged. “If you’d taken my word for it, the bill would only have been $20. But what with the Lab report and the Cat scan…”

Why was the blonde staring at the orange juice carton?…

Because it said “concentrate”.

Mona and I couldn’t be more proud of Anna.  She’s truly a treasure to us.

Happy birthday, Anna.  We love you.  Now that you’re 21, I can finally tell this blonde joke…

How do you get a blonde on the roof?
….tell her drinks are on the house.

Click here for lots more pictures, including some from Easter.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

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With that and her warm flesh, he near lost it, Jesus Elsa, you re driving me wild.

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She went to pull back and his hand shot out of nowhere and stopped her. And a gold ring could be used to start a hand at a poker game.

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And that, my friend, is why our mom and dad celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary today. 

Mom and Dad, you are such a blessing to us and everyone around you.  Congratulations on this awesome day.  We hope your time in Hawaii is relaxing and fun-filled.  If you take lots of pictures, we’ll get them up here on this blog to share with everyone.

Dave, Rod and I could not manage to get our schedules together to record a happy anniversary greeting.  So, we enlisted the services of a group that we know you love. 

Click the PLAY button and enjoy.

Love,
Dave, Dawn, Dan, Alysa, Mike, Nick
Ron, Mona, Anna, Ben, Emily
Rod, Kathy, Christopher, Tim, Malia, Grace, Josie

Today is Rod’s 44th birthday, and he told me that he needed to get a few things off his chest.

First, when Rod made Captain in the Navy, there were a few people who thought that Rod’s head may finally be too big for his britches.  Rod said… “Who me”?

Second, Rod has recently taken up softball again.  Actually, it’s a compulsory group activity in the new cross-branch school Rod’s attending in Norfolk, VA.  The spectators learned that Rod’s grip isn’t what it used to be when he was younger.

 

Third, Rod and Kathy home school their kids; and in order to qualify for the home school program, they have to pass teacher certification.  Following is a copy of Rod’s latest test results.  Fortunately for Rod, Kathy gets to score the test and he fared pretty well.

1. A miss is as good as a ____
Mr.

2. Better to be safe than ____
punch a 5th grader

3. Strike while the ____
bug is close

4. It’s always darkest before ____
daylight saving time

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He knew that if he didn t tell her tonight, Valear would be back soon to deal with the both of them. He used his thumb and index finger to show the height of half an inch.

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The man on the other side of the 98 Immortal Promise: A Vampire Love Story door with his fist raised as if he were about knock was possibly one of the biggest men Elsa had ever seen. SARA REINKE 1 HIGHWAYMAN LOVER HIGHWAYMAN LOVER By Sara Reinke Copyright 2006 by Sara Reinke Previously published under the title An Unexpected Engagement Names, characters and incidents depicted in this book are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously.

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He tried to stand but the room spun and he fell back onto the thin mattress. Her eyes roved over the delicate form and she shuddered.

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There was no way she could have forgotten, because he was so attractive-and big.

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5. Don’t bite the hand that ____
looks dirty

6. You can’t teach an old dog new ___
…math.

7. If you lie down with dogs, you’ll ___
…stink in the morning.

8. Love all, trust ___
…me.

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The next hour passed quite slowly, especially with the hub of partiers that were unable to hold their liquor and make their way to the beach to vomit. She splashed water on her napkin and pressed it over the wound.

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As long as Blake didn t find him before he found the chip, everything could be set back in order.

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His eyes changed to their luminescent shine as they shot open.
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She flew across the room behind Lucas, You re too late Jack, and I ve already claimed my bride!

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He looked out the window in front of him and noted the fields that had turned green due to the rainfall they d had that month. Maybe then, the police would take her seriously and her friends too.

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9. The pen is mightier than the ___
…pigs.

10. An idle mind is ___
…the best way to relax.

11. Where there’s smoke there’s ___
…pollution.

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He couldn t risk kissing her like he did earlier or, God forbid; he would end up biting her.

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A beautiful brunette was leaning against the rail as he ascended the stairs to the grand room below. Charlotte remembered countless summers when Lewis would come to stay at Darton Hall 26 SARA REINKE and play with Reilly, or Reilly would in turn be shipped east to Woodside Hall, the home of Lewis's father, the baron.

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He was also thankful that she didn t ask him how he knew she was there.

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12. Happy the bride who ___
…gets all the presents.

13. A penny saved is ___
…not much.

14. Two’s company, three’s ___
…the Musketeers.

15. Don’t put off till tomorrow what ___
…you put on to go to bed.

16. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and ___
…you have to blow your nose.

17. There are none so blind as ___
…Stevie Wonder.

18. Children should be seen and not ___
…spanked or grounded.

19. If at first you don’t succeed ___
…get new batteries.

20. You get out of something only what you ___
…see in the picture on the box.

21. When the blind leadeth the blind ___
…get out of the way.

22. Better late than ___
…pregnant.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ROD!  WE LOVE YOU.

This week brought the sad news of my mom’s sister Mary’s passing.  Mary had battled cancer for some time and on Monday she went to be with the Lord.  It is such hard news to bear.  What can we say to family and friends who remain and have to deal with the pain of their loss?…

We’re sorry.  We’re here for you. We love you. And, most importantly, God loves you more.

To say that the Lord holds our lives in His hands from cradle to grave is an understatement.  For Jeremiah 1:5 says, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart…”  And in John 1:1-2 Jesus said “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you.” 

I spoke with mom and dad last night and they said the memorial service was very nice.  Dad said that one of the songs they played was “Amazing Grace” by Elvis.  Mary was a huge Elvis fan.  It’s interesting that I sang a slightly different version of Amazing Grace last night with about 400 other people at a National Day of Prayer gathering.  I’m including the version we sang last night here with the lyrics. 

I would encourage you to listen and read along.  My favorite part is the chorus when it says, “My chains are gone.  I’ve been set free.” 

Mary’s chains are gone now, and she’s been set free forever.

“Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone)”
by Chris Tomlin

Amazing grace
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I’m found
Was blind, but now I see
‘Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed

My chains are gone
I’ve been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy rains
Unending love, Amazing grace

The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures

My chains are gone
I’ve been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy rains
Unending love, Amazing grace

My chains are gone
I’ve been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy rains
Unending love, Amazing grace

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow
The sun forbear to shine
But God, Who called me here below
Will be forever mine
Will be forever mine
You are forever mine

What do you get when you combine Plexiglas, Ritz crackers, Cheese Whiz, and a blindfold?

A very funny video.  Watch…

 

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Today is my dad’s birthday, and I have a special message I want to share with you in honor of him and of HIM.  You see, this has been an extraordinary year for our family.  Today I know my dad like I’ve never known him before, and he’s a treasure to me and every member of our family. 

I don’t normally mix birthday and Christmas greetings, but the video below hits the mark for today and Christmas.

Dad, happy birthday.  We love you very much.

To everyone reading this, we wish you a blessed Christmas.

Ron, Mona, Anna, Ben and Emily.

Enjoy the video…

 

This has been a week of celebration for us.  We’ll take turns by age and finish with a slideshow of assorted Huttons…

Mona is celebrating the 47th anniversary of her birth and we’re rejoicing with her.  One thing we all love about Mona is her sense of compassion.  Our last trip to the dentist office went something like this…

Mona said, “I want a tooth pulled. I don’t want gas or Novocain because I’m in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible.”

“You’re a brave woman,” said the dentist. “Now, show me which tooth it is.”

Mona turns to Ron and says: “Open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth it is, dear.”

Anna came home from FSU last Friday to spend Christmas with us.  It’s such a treat to have Anna home.  We don’t see her nearly as much as we’d like to.  Everything just seems brighter when she’s around.

 

 

 

Ben celebrated his 17th birthday on Monday this week.  We are very proud of Ben.  You’ll probably notice in some of the slideshow pics that Ben towers over his mom and sisters now.  I can’t believe how fast Ben is growing up.  God has some incredible plans for Ben’s life and it’s a joy to be part of it.

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She laid her head back against him, What if he was saving her for something?

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His eyes searched hers, You shouldn t ever worry about other women. Her surprise proved only momentary, as her fury restored and her brows narrowed again.

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Edwards placed his hand on his shoulder and spoke to him.

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Emily performed beautifully at her Christmas piano recital this past Sunday.  The event was wonderful, as usual, and this year Emily was the anchor pianist because she’s worked very hard and her teacher saved the best for last.

 

 

 

CLICK HERE for a assorted Hutton slideshow.