A man and his wife had a fight and were giving each other the silent treatment. After a day or so the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 a.m. for an early morning business flight to New York. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he wrote on a piece of paper, “Please wake me at 5:00 a.m.”
The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 a.m., and that he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn’t woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed … it said… “It’s 5:00 a.m.; wake up.”
A woman brought her very limp parrot to the vet. The doctor examined the bird carefully, then shook his head. “I’m so sorry,” he said, “but Polly has passed away.”
“Are you sure?” the owner wailed. “I mean, you haven’t done any testing or anything! He might just be in a coma.”
The vet shrugged, left the room, and returned with a beautiful black Labrador. The dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examining table, and sniffed the bird from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet sadly and shook his head.
The vet took the dog out, then returned with a Siamese cat. The cat jumped up, sniffed all around the bird, and also shook its head.
The vet then said to the woman, “I’m sorry, but like I said, your parrot is most definitely, certifiably dead.” He then turned to his computer, produced a bill, and handed it to her.
“$250!” she sputtered. “$250 just to tell me my bird is dead?!”
The vet shrugged. “If you’d taken my word for it, the bill would only have been $20. But what with the Lab report and the Cat scan…”
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she’s going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.
The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Mercedes Benz SL 500. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank. She has the title, and everything checks out.
The bank agrees to accept the car collateral for the loan. The bank’s president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $110,000 Benz as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Benz into the bank’s underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the blonde returns. She repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.
The loan officer says, “Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?”
The blonde replies, “Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?”
This post has a two-fold purpose… fun and education.
For the fun part, watch this Japanese marshmallow eating contest video…
For the education part, if you’d like to see how to embed an YouTube video like this one into your WordPress blog, click here to watch a 4:12 video that demonstrates the process.
A man and his wife had a fight and were giving each other the silent treatment. After a day or so the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 a.m. for an early morning business flight to New York. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he wrote on a piece of paper, “Please wake me at 5:00 a.m.”
A woman brought her very limp parrot to the vet. The doctor examined the bird carefully, then shook his head. “I’m so sorry,” he said, “but Polly has passed away.”
Why was the blonde staring at the orange juice carton?…
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she’s going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.