…Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

…Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

…Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

…Why isn’t there mouse…flavored cat food?

…When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

…Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

A woman brought her very limp parrot to the vet. The doctor examined the bird carefully, then shook his head. “I’m so sorry,” he said, “but Polly has passed away.”

“Are you sure?” the owner wailed. “I mean, you haven’t done any testing or anything! He might just be in a coma.”

The vet shrugged, left the room, and returned with a beautiful black Labrador. The dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examining table, and sniffed the bird from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet sadly and shook his head.

The vet took the dog out, then returned with a Siamese cat. The cat jumped up, sniffed all around the bird, and also shook its head.

The vet then said to the woman, “I’m sorry, but like I said, your parrot is most definitely, certifiably dead.” He then turned to his computer, produced a bill, and handed it to her.

“$250!” she sputtered. “$250 just to tell me my bird is dead?!”

The vet shrugged. “If you’d taken my word for it, the bill would only have been $20. But what with the Lab report and the Cat scan…”